


Witness to Your Empty Heart

by IronPunk



Series: Cupid's Victim [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-10
Updated: 2007-06-10
Packaged: 2019-08-04 10:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16345445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronPunk/pseuds/IronPunk
Summary: A death in Lorne's family leads to conflict.Warning: suicide. Please do not read this if that will trigger you.





	Witness to Your Empty Heart

**Author's Note:**

> An addendum to Cupid's Victim so it won't make sense if you haven't read it. A big thanks to my wonderful beta domtheknight.
> 
> This was originally posted over on wraithbait/lj under nunshavingfun, but I cleaned it up a bit so some things may be different. http://wraithbait.com/viewstory.php?sid=11808
> 
> All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

Evan gets the call at 5:33 pm on Thursday just as he was coming home from work.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Evan?"  
  
Evan can hear the shake in her voice and immediately knows something is off. "Mom? Are you ok? What happened?"  
  
"Michael," she sobs. "He's dead."  
  
His mother is heartbroken and in tears while she quietly explained to him that his brother had taken his own life. Evan is in shock. His baby brother was dead. He had been struggling with severe depression for a while, but Lorne didn't think it would end like this. His mother said that in the note Michael hadn't cited an explicit reason for ending his life, but that it was more than likely his wife leaving him had been the breaking point. Now he was gone and Lorne had to pick up the pieces.  
  
He laid back on the couch, uniform and all, and curled into himself.

 

~~~

  
He doesn't know how long he has been lying there when he hears the sound of the door unlocking and Quad's welcoming meow before hearing David's voice calling out, "Evan?" as he turned on the lights. "Evan?" he asks a little more warily.  
  
Evan feigns sleep as David walks around to the front of the couch. "Oh," he lets out softly. He bends down and sweeps back Evan's hair and planted a soft kiss on his temple before turning out the lights and heading into his room.  
  
Evan lets out a shuddering breath. He wouldn't cry. He would. Not. Cry.  
  
Tears started streaming down his face and harsh sobs were wrenched out of his shaking body.  
  
A short while later he feels David gather him up into a supportive hug and Lorne burrowed into him, wrapping his arms around David and burying his face in his neck as David held on to him tightly. They stayed like that, Lorne sobbing and David soothing until Lorne's sobs subsided. Lorne kept himself anchored to David's warmth until he could bring himself to speak.  
  
"Michael..." he says shakily. "Michael's dead," he sobbed.  
  
"Oh, Evan," David breathes. "What..." he cuts himself off, shaking his head. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely. And Evan knew he was, knew he would be even after he found out it was suicide.  
  
David detaches himself from Lorne and gets up, reaching for him. "Come on," he says gently as he grabbed Evan's hands. He gets up and lets himself be led to their room and onto their bed. David clinically strips Lorne down to his boxers before doing the same to himself and climbing into bed. Lorne immediately sidles up to him, putting his head on David's chest, which prompts David to wrap his arms around him.  
  
They lie like that, warm and silent until Lorne slips into a fitful sleep.

~~~

  
He wakes up a few hours later disoriented in an empty bed. He drags a heavy hand down his face before he forces himself to get out of bed and find David. He walks down the hall and into the kitchen.  
  
"David?" he asks, making sure not to startle his still skittish botanist.  
  
"You're awake," David says. "I was just going to wake you up to eat. You must be starving." He hustles Lorne into a kitchen chair and pushes a plate of waffles in front of him. "I didn't want to burn anything again," David apologizes quietly, looking down at his hands.  
  
"Thanks, doc." Evan says before eating his waffles. David fidgets with his hands restlessly and Lorne knows it was only time before he got up to clean so he reaches over and put his hands over David's, rubbing his thumb over the knuckles. They lock eyes and David quickly shifts their hands and brushes a sweet kiss on the top of each of Evan's hands before he let go.  
  
"Your waffles are getting cold."  
  
Evan turns back to his waffles, systematically cutting them into pieces before eating them.  
  
David is watching him like he was going to break any minute and it suddenly makes him very angry.  
  
"Quit looking at me like that," he snaps. "I'm not going to fucking break you know."  
  
David flinches back. "I know..."  
  
"Then quit fucking looking at me like I am going to." Evan pushes his waffles away angrily.  
  
"I didn't..." David puts his hands up instinctively and Evan feels ashamed.   
  
"Don't. Just don't." He almost pushes his chair over in his haste to get out of the room.  
  
When he gets to their bedroom he throws himself on the bed and punches the pillow several times before hugging it to his chest and curling his body around it.

~~~

  
David is shaking. He knew that Evan wouldn't hurt him, but the yelling had set off the fear that he had been struggling with for months.  
  
He flinches when he hears the door slam and gets up to put the dish in the sink. He reaches out to turn on the water before sighing heavily and walking to their room. His hand hovers on the doorknob as he listens to Evan's raging. He turns and walks down the hall to his old room. He doesn't want to invade Evan's space while he was angry. He doesn't even know if Evan actually wants him around right now.  
  
David hadn't meant to stare at him like that, but he didn't know what to do or say to comfort Evan without sounding stupid. He was just useless at comforting people and tonight was proof of that.  
  
Quad is already lying on the bed when he walks through the open door. He gently moves her and pulls back the covers. Quad curls up by his chest when he lies down and purrs loudly.

~~~

  
David was long gone when Evan wakes up the next day. He slept in his old room and Evan feels guilty as hell for taking his anger out on him as he did. He knew David was going to be skittish around him again after this and Evan wouldn't be able to take it. He gets up, gets dressed, and packs before writing David a note informing him that he would be at his mother's for the rest of the week for the funeral. He puts the note on the kitchen table before he leaves for the airport.

~~~

  
When David gets back to the house after work that day he finds Evan's apologetic note on the table explaining that he would be back on Saturday night. He knew he wouldn't be able to stay at the apartment alone. It had been months since the attack, but he still felt overwhelming fear when he had to spend significant amounts of time alone there.  
  
The phone disrupts this line of thought.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Parrish, it's Cadman."  
  
"Laura?"  
  
"I made up the room for you and Quad if you'd like it."  
  
"Sure. I'll be there in a couple of hours," he says before hanging up. He is both grateful and embarrassed by her offer. He knows he was pathetic for not wanting to stay alone in the apartment, but he didn't realize that he was _that_ obvious about it. Sighing heavily, he walks into the room to get packed.

~~~

  
  
Two hours later he is knocking on Laura's door.  
  
"Come in, Parrish," Laura shouts.  
  
"How did you know it was me? It could have been anybody," he chides.  
  
"You've got a very distinctive knock," she counters.  
  
"Distinctive how?" he asked.  
  
"Very polite and timid."  
  
"Great," he mumbles.  
  
"You should take Quad out," Laura says. "It looks like she's going to have a fit."  
  
David puts the case down and opens the door to the carrier. Quad shoots out and immediately runs into the other room. Just like her owner, he thinks bitterly. "How was Evan doing this morning?" he asks. He hasn't heard anything from him since the night before and the distant note he got this afternoon worried him.  
  
"He was really upset, but that's understandable. Didn't you see him this morning before he left?"  
  
"No. I left before he woke up," he answers guiltily. He had rushed to get out of Evan's way before he woke up that morning. He should have stayed with Evan and not run away like a coward.  
  
"Oh." Laura sounds disappointed, but David doesn't want to tell her about the fight.  
  
"He didn't want..." he trails off vaguely.  
  
Laura looks skeptical but doesn't push it any further. The phone rings before either of them could say anything else and Laura answers it quickly.  
  
"Yes? Oh hello, McKay... Yes, he's here... McKay..." Laura growls warningly. "Here he is..." She thrusts the phone at him. "For you, Parrish."  
  
He grabs the phone with a sigh. "Hello, Rodney."  
  
"David..."  
  
"Rodney."  
  
"Could you please explain to me why you are at Cadman's instead of with Lorne?" He demands.  
  
"How did you even know I wasn't?"  
  
"John wheedled it out of Lorne that he was going alone."  
  
"He didn't... He... I didn't even know he was leaving today." It was the truth. He knew Evan was going out there for the funeral, but he didn't realize it was going to be right away. The fight probably helped move that along.  
  
"How did you not know? He didn't tell you?"  
  
"No. There was just a note this morning..."  
  
"A note? You didn't do something stupid did you?"  
  
David hangs up. He knows he hadn't handled things very well with Evan, but he doesn't need Rodney pushing it in his face like that when it was still raw.  
  
The phone rings almost immediately after he hangs up.  
  
"Don't answer it," he shouts. "It's just Rodney again."  
  
Laura laughs as she walks back into the room. "You hung up on him?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"If we don't answer the phone he's just going to show up to berate us."  
  
"Maybe we should just leave?"  
  
"He'd find us eventually. We wouldn't want him to drag Shep around town after us now would we?"  
  
David answers the phone, "Rodney."  
  
"You. Stay there." Rodney says angrily before hanging up.  
  
"He's coming over," David groans.  
  
"Great. Are you hungry? I made some dinner. We can probably eat before Rodney shows up to throw a fit."  
  
"Sounds good." He follows Laura into the kitchen.  
  
"Why did you hang up on McKay anyway? Apart from the obvious..."  
  
"He wants to nag me about Evan."  
  
"Well..." Laura begins.  
  
"Don't you start too," he replies testily.  
  
They eat the rest of the meal in a shroud of silence that was only broken by the loud knocking on the door. Laura answers it cheerfully. "Hello, McKay. Sheppard."  
  
Rodney shoots right through the door to where David is sitting and drags him up out of the chair and into the guest bedroom.  
  
"Sit." Rodney thrusts him on the bed. "Now. Why aren't you with Lorne, hmm?"  
  
"He didn't..."  
  
"Don't give me that. You love each other. Now please explain to me why you are here instead of there?"  
  
"We got into a big fight. I made him really mad and he... there was a lot of yelling and I didn't react to it well, all right?" He wraps his arms around himself. Rodney sits down next to him and nudges him with his shoulder. "Idiot," he says fondly. "He's not mad at you. He wasn't yelling at you. He's upset because his brother's dead and he doesn't know how to handle things like this very well. You weren't awake when..." Rodney cut himself off. "He needs you there. Whether he realizes it or not." He huffs.  
  
"You're right," David concedes.  
  
"Of course I am. Which is why I brought you this." He hands David an envelope. David opens it to find an airplane ticket. He pulls Rodney into a hug. "You didn't..."  
  
"It was John's idea," Rodney replies sheepishly. "He's such a busybody."  
  
"I resent that," John interrupts. "Come on, Parrish. You've got a flight to catch."

~~~

  
After a four hour flight and a long drive, David manages to locate the Lorne house. David would have never been able to find it, especially in the dark, if not for the detailed directions Rodney had given him before he left.  
  
He parks the rental car next to a large number of cars that were already there. He walks up to the door and is working up the courage to knock when the door opens to reveal a woman who looked remarkably like Evan.  
  
"I've been waiting for you, David. John called and said you would be coming up tonight," she says as she led him into the foyer. "I'm Annette, Evan's mother."  
  
David stuck out his hand dumbly and was surprised when he is pulled into a fierce hug. "I'm so pleased that you're here. Evan has barely left his room since he got here." She holds him at arm's length, "Let me get a look at you."  
  
David blushes under her scrutiny.  
  
"You're much too thin. Much thinner than in your picture." She lets go of him and leads him up the stairs.  
  
"Picture?"  
  
"Evan sends me pictures from time to time. Isn't he feeding you?" she asks as they approach a door.

~~~

  
Evan is lying miserably on his old bed at his mother's house. He is completely useless to his mother, who is surrounded by her friends and their family. Being home just reminds him of his brother and all that he has lost. It feels like an open wound that was growing bigger and bigger as time dragged on. To make matters worse he had practically attacked David. His gut clenched painfully when he recalled the stricken look on David's face. His thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door.  
  
"Evan?"  
  
"Yes, mom?"  
  
"Your young man is here to see you," she says before he hears her footsteps go down the hallway. She couldn't have said what he thinks she said. He gets up and quickly opens the door and is greeted by David's thin form. He immediately pulls the other man to him.  
  
"You came," he whispers into David's neck. "Even after... You came."  
  
"Rodney..." David stars.  
  
Evan cuts him off, "I thought that if I told Shep he would tell Rodney..." he trails off as he shuts the door and tugs David onto the bed. "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I shouldn't have... Not after... I was upset and I shouldn't have taken it out on you."  
  
"I know that now," David says. He reaches out a hand and tentatively strokes the side of Evan's face. "How are you, really?"  
  
Evan tightens his grip on David. "He's gone, David. He's really gone." Evan's resolve breaks and tears began freely streaming down his face. "Why would he kill himself? Why would he do this to us?"  
  
"I don't know, Evan," David replies. "I don't know."

~~~

  
The funeral is a quiet affair. Evan's mother sat stoically on the left of Evan, eyes red-rimmed and lip trembling, while David had sat on his right as Evan gripped his hand tightly in his.  
  
Now, hours after the funeral, the three of them sat in the living room. David had fallen asleep an hour or so before everyone had finally left. He is curled into Evan's side, head nestled on his chest while Evan wraps a protective arm around him. He began dozing slightly when the phone rings. He hears his mother's quiet voice answer, "Rodney?... Yes, they're here. They're fine..." before he too gave into sleep.


End file.
